That Heart beat a faltering beat

She was an unusual creature or so she thought, something that never

seemed to belong. She felt deeply, the smallest of things- a smile, a knitting of the brows, an unexplainable sniff carried such significant meanings which soon translated into pain which she would swallow deep into the very depths of her stomach.

Her heart would often beat a trembling, faltering beat. A beat that feared life itself, a beat that was caught between the contradiction of not wanting life but yet still wanting it. And so her heart trembled,half living and half dying. For too long was it imprisoned, for too long had it feared failure, for far too long! The life it had known was a prison of ideals that like the vines of ivy had grown and intertwined stifling the reality of what she was- her heart knew now that it must either die or live- it must be complete in either state. Dead or alive nothing in between, no more contradiction, either death or life.

So like this the heart that she had been destined to have oscillated. She would often be found sitting twisting her wrists a somewhat troubled look in the depths of her eyes. People would often ask her is she was troubled and often her reply of a simple ‘no’ would exasperate them! But they could never understand that she could not formulate much of what she felt into words, so much of what she felt belonged to a realm in which everything was intertwined where one could not distinguish the difference between black and white how could she put into words that which she could not define? So you see now why she would always answer with a simple ‘No’.